I think you should save some dough and buy that piece of **** fat bike that **** Mart is peddling. Or you should just get a pit bike.

Stupid jokes aside, fat bikes are awesome. And the folks that ride them are even better. Good bye fancy pants, Lycra infused speed racers. Hello boot wearin, old jeans sportin, holy ripped up t shirt sportin exploring good timers. Kind of like back in my football days: when I put on the helmet, I was a different person. When I throw a leg over my Mukluk...it's a transformation. A glorious couple hours of DGAFF.

Thanks for the inspiration. I'm off to go ride my Fattie right muthafuggin meow.