I guess I'll just have to take you at your word...Number Two. You probably lose to me in your sleep.

Farmboy, my dear, dear Farmboy, so many places to go with that tepid post of yours...Curious: Had CG not left the Too-Good-To-Lose LAMBA Princesses for the 32-seed Team Goodlookin', which of the 4 of you would have been sitting on the sidelines?!? Surely they wouldn't have benched the guy who hasn't won a contest since the time he won the President's Challenge in 1st grade P.E. after being held back two consecutive years...No way they'd [I know you're still trying to look up what tepid means...It means "Not hot, lukewarm." Can we focus now? Thank you.]...No way they'd drop the guy who travels from event to event in the hopes of just once claiming a Huffy Toss championship only to come up short time and time again. Let's face it, Farmboy. You are the LeBron James of meaningless backyard shenanigans: All hype but no hardware. Always the bridesmaid. Never the bride.

So I'm riding on your turf next weekend. I'll be visiting a piece of America that I've never laid eyes on before. You better pray to the gods of goofy, big-nosed punks that I don't leave you in the dust, My Friend. For if I do...If I do, I won't have to say a single word. Back at camp, as I'm downing a delicious, frosty brew I'll simply give you an uninterested nod, and you'll know immediately that ol' Dirt got the best of you yet again. No one else in the entire world will give a rip, but for you it will be the longest night of your life.