Ok, Ok...This time it did take me 3 days to devise a suitable retort but this just dawned on me this morning. Farmboy, you idolize me. Listen, Man, I'm gonna say this only once: I AM NOT A ROLE MODEL. While I understand why you would have such strong feelings for a champion like me, let's admit that it's a little weird for one grown man to revere another grown man in such an unhealthy way. Look, we've all had our heroes - for me, I adored Spider Man as a child. I even wore Spider Man underwear - Wait! Don't tell me that you have Dirt Undies (your wife did say that after chili night they get a little grundy...Perhaps another ode to me...That's sick, Dude - and pretend that I could swing from home to home in my neighborhood with the use of strands of my own excrement. I digress. We all have heroes, but let me suggest that I not be one of yours. I do not promise to set a good example and, frankly, you couldn't live up to the accomplishments that I've achieved in the last year...Heck only 3 other men in the entire world have done what I've done. Besides that, when I fall, like most heroes, I fall hard and fast. I don't want to crush your dreams like that, so please, please find yourself a new symbol of hope to venerate.

You may be asking yourself, "How does he know???" Or maybe even, "What the hell is this guy talking about?!?" Right, I understand. You were hoping to keep this secret like the Princess Di Beanie Baby sleepovers and My Little Pony collection that you keep (check this post) but in this instance you've been too obvious. You mysteriously hang around my peeps all the time, ride the trails that I ride more often than your own, you wear a shirt that has my nickname on your back (and let's not forget the DIRT e underwear thing), and most telling of all: You've chosen your nickname after the very bike I ride: The Slingshot [I]Farmboy[/I]...Man, you need to seek counseling.